i knew it i knew it! i endded up going to that party, she warned me not to go WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT LISTEN!! god im so fucking stupid!

i kissed her.
she kissed me.
things got worse and worse. i had to stop it in the end because it was wrong. i knew i should of stayed away but why am i so fucking thick.
i knew everytime i kissed her it was for him. she was kissing him in her mind. and using me as an outlet but i could not stop myself i....i feel like nothing. i have been used to get over someone and it was my first kiss it was my first everything like that. lucky i had the common sence to stop myself before anything major happened but god. i wanted her so badly, but i wanted her to want me....
why does every woman i feel this way about just...make me feel like im not even a person...im not....im nothing

wow im gonna get called a fag emo for posting this here...